the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
