the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
