What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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