I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
This gyro tastes like lonliness
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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