he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
