I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize
