I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize