I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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