Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I deserve this hangover.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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