He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
