Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
