A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
