Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize