I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
only if we run a train.
done.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
