Where is the hickey?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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