just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You pole danced in your parka.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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