There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I miss vodka workout Fridays
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
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