Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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