Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
