My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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