there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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