After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
