i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
