Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize