He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
How drunk are you?
Completed.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
