Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
