If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
