they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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