I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
