why didn't you poke me back
Betty ford says i'm here all night
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
