so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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