Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
