This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
