operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
