ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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