: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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