Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
