you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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