"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
