Don't you send me to vm
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
