My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
