Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I can't turn off my feet"
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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