i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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