Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
