Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
