do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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