dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
