shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I need water and some morals
Randomize
