Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
