I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize