it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Randomize
