Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Life without a bra equals bliss.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
