Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
