did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Randomize
