Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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