His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
