I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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